cardashians: GURL YOUR FUCKING MAKE UP MAKES KIM K LOOK DRAB. Teach me how you got that Wing looking so sharp as that contour on the cheeks is killing me

OMFG stoppp thank u so much bby!!! U are so sweet and cute ily!!! ☺️❤️ And tbh I line my eyes with the blood of my enemies to create that sharp ass wing.

monobeartheater:

clonesbians:

weloveshortvideos:

Guy’s Review of Right Guard Deodorant Ends Unexpectedly

image

"jack dont post this video"

betrayal

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Ummm u are the perfect one??? Duh

Ummm u are the perfect one??? Duh

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I’m gonna go take my makeup off and cry about it

COOL NEW HACK TO GET MORE ICING FOR YOUR TOASTER STRUDEL

toasterstrudel:

  1. Obtain a significant other from a country that doesn’t sell Toaster Strudel
  2. Marry them and start a family
  3. Offer to make your fam breakfast every morning
  4. Make them strudel with no icing
  5. They’ll have no idea Toaster Strudel even come with icing
  6. Take all six packets for yourself
  7. Avoid making eye contact with your reflection in the mirror for the rest of your life because you are a monster

kirbyfucker64:

"how old are you?"

"It’s a secret :3"

"aiight so either 12 or 40 got it"

"Your eyebrows are sisters, not twins."
-The most comforting beauty advice I’ve ever been given. (via statexalchemist)

I said this to one of the girls at makeup college when she was complaining about them always being different and she looked at me as if I had changed her life

(via meetyourinnerstrength)
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clientsfromhell:

Me: “What browser are you on?”

Client: “Google.”

Me: “Google Chrome?”

Client: “No, just regular Google.”

Me: “That’s the site. I want to know the browser.”

Client: “Google.”

Me: “No.”

Client: “Look, we can have this conversation forever, man. But when I hit the internet logo, Google comes up!”

Me: “Okay…What does that “internet logo” look like?

Client: “…A fiery fox, I guess. But that’s irrelevant.”

You guys are genuinely so nice to me and I am a terrible person I don’t know what I’m doing but I’m doing it right so thank u my cuties ily

u guys are so nice to me!!!!

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